She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
