He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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