I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
