we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
