He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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