I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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