You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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