He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
