That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
