So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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