summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
