Kiss
Puke
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
In America we eat man semen.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
