she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
