It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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