Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
