Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she told me i tasted like america
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
