I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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