He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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