Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
