You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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