You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
