Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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