I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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