Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
