it hurts more in the daytime
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
