i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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