apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
