You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize