K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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