For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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