If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
