my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
