i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize