Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize