His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
