I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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