Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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