I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
