He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
