The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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