u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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