soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize