we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
