grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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