Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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