hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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