yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He better not be in your backpack
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
