the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
