Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's blow job season.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
