i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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