Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
