when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
