We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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