Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
