Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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