Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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