Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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