I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
