Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am available for nakedness
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
