is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
